Last night was one of the most fun nights I had this semester.

I watched Elbi Pie: Rufo vs Raffles and even got to witness the CAS lantern lighting event. The lantern lighting event was magical, and my heart ached as I remembered my favorite Disney scene. I felt lucky as I watched the lanterns fly up and slowly disappear into the night, like stars making their way to the vast expanse of the universe. It was painfully beautiful and I felt as if I have something missing within me. Last night was a cold night.

Watching the Elbi Pie for the first time and possibly the last time (hopefully) in my university life, I wonder how much I have missed when I decided not to watch the past years’ Elbi Pie shows. They said that the last one was literally a monologue, but several years ago, the shows were really extreme (boys and girls kissing, boys and boys kissing, and girls and girls kissing. Read: kissing everywhere). Anyway, last night’s show was worth my money. I realized a lot of things, and my number one discovery is: WYRE UNDERGROUND GUYS ARE REALLY HOT. Maybe it’s the costume, maybe they really are cute, but the confidence they ooze out when they dance… just makes my ovaries explode.(@__@ ) What I wouldn’t give/do just to have one for myself… Hehe.♥

So that’s Realization#1. Realization#2 has something to do with the final line of the show, asking the readers to think over which they are: the one who is hurt by love, or the one who hurts others? Admittedly, I’m the latter. The theater actress who plays Ruffles, who plays the “hurter,” even said the line I strongly agree with: “The opposite of love isn’t hate, it’s indifference.” Yes, I may have been hurt a lot, but I guess the pain I caused others doesn’t even compare. I had people who loved me and I didn’t love back, and then there’s this guy who loved me and I did love back, but that’s what it was: it’s did. Past tense. Not in my present, and not in my future. Which brings me again to the question I asked several years’ back: Am I totally devoid of emotion? It’s not I’m totally avoiding love, I’m searching for it desperately, and I cringe at the thought that maybe I’d die alone. I’m a superficial bitch and I can’t help it: appearance does matter a lot to me. I’d hang anyone by the neck who says otherwise, because it’s exactly the first thing on my list whenever I categorize people into my friend and friend-but-I’m-hoping zones. So maybe, I think of myself too highly to think that I deserve someone so good looking, but I think that has nothing to do with my self perception since I read too much shoujo manga—almost every manga fan knows that shoujo manga are not exactly good for lowering expectations. I myself am starting to realize that I may have let one fish go too soon. I regret not giving him a chance, but I try not to think a lot about it. Say what? Regret is a useless emotion.  

Realization#3 is “walang malaking aparador sa maliit na kwarto!” (There’s no large cabinet in a small room!) Funny shit. The best part of the show is Sir harassing the good looking guys from the audience.